Breaking the silence

Dr Ravi Gill explores the issue of men’s mental health and suggests some coping strategies for stress and anxiety

Mental health issues, though increasingly normalised in conversations, still carry a stigma in many circles. In fact, it is well documented that men are less likely to seek help for mental health concerns. In many societies, men are often socialised from a young age to suppress emotions and avoid vulnerability, as it may be seen as a sign of weakness. Phrases like “man up” or “boys don’t cry” reinforce the idea that seeking help or expressing emotions is incompatible with traditional masculinity.

Mental health issues in men can sometimes present differently than in women. For instance, depression in men may not always manifest as sadness, but rather through irritability, anger, risk-taking, or substance abuse. Because these behaviours don’t align with the stereotypical signs of depression, men may not recognise the need for help or attribute their symptoms to stress rather than a mental health condition.

This difference in symptom presentation makes it harder for men to self-diagnose or for others to suggest professional help, further delaying treatment.

It’s crucial for men who are struggling with their mental health to know that they are not alone and that seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Share your struggles
The first step is recognising that it’s okay to not be okay. Society often teaches men to suppress their emotions, but acknowledging feelings of sadness, anxiety, stress, or anger is an essential part of healing.

Speaking to someone you trust, whether it’s a close friend, family member, or partner, can be an enormous relief. You don’t have to go into deep detail right away, but sharing your struggles with someone who will listen without judgment can make you feel less isolated. It’s important to choose someone supportive who can offer empathy, rather than criticism or unsolicited advice. Seeking professional help is a powerful step. A psychologist, therapist, or counsellor can provide a safe space to talk about what you’re going through, while offering tools and strategies to manage your mental health. Many men find it helpful to reframe therapy as an opportunity to gain new skills or strategies for problem-solving, rather than focusing on emotional vulnerability.

Prioritise exercise and sleep
Physical activity is not only good for your body but also boosts mental health by releasing endorphins, which reduce stress and improve mood. Whether it’s weightlifting, running, cycling, or playing sports, find a form of exercise you enjoy. Good mental health starts with proper rest. Create a consistent sleep routine and make sure you’re getting enough rest, as sleep deprivation can worsen mental health symptoms. Eating a balanced, nutritious diet can impact how you feel. Reduce excessive caffeine, sugar, and alcohol consumption, and ensure you’re eating plenty of fruits, vegetables and whole grains.

Be kind to yourself
When dealing with mental health struggles, it can feel like you’re overwhelmed by everything at once. A helpful strategy is to break problems down into smaller, manageable parts. Focus on one thing at a time, and don’t pressure yourself to solve everything immediately.

Many men struggle with internalised negative beliefs, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I should be able to handle this on my own.” Start recognising when these thoughts occur and challenge them. Ask yourself if you would say the same thing to a friend in your position. It’s okay to give yourself permission to struggle and to be kind to yourself during tough times.

Find a good support network
Finding a support network of men who are also navigating mental health challenges can be incredibly powerful. You may want to join a men’s group, peer support group, or online community where men share their experiences in a safe space. By connecting with other men who understand your struggles, you can build solidarity and reduce the sense of isolation.

Learning more about mental health can help you better understand your symptoms and give you language to describe what you’re experiencing. There are many resources available – books, podcasts, articles, and websites – that focus on mental health, particularly for men. For example, organisations like Mind, Movember, or Heads Up Guys offer male-specific mental health resources and advice.

If work stress is a contributing factor to your mental health struggles, consider whether it might be helpful to have an open conversation with a supervisor or HR. Many workplaces now offer Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs), which can provide counselling or support services confidentially.

Coping strategies for stress and anxiety
Managing anxiety and stress requires a combination of techniques that help you reduce the intensity of your symptoms and build resilience over time. Here are some effective coping strategies to help you manage anxiety and stress:

• Practise deep breathing
Deep, slow breathing activates the body’s parasympathetic nervous system, which reduces stress by promoting a calm state. Try box breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds) or belly breathing, where you focus on expanding your abdomen as you breathe deeply rather than just your chest. These techniques help regulate your body’s stress response and make you feel more grounded.

• Mindfulness and meditation
Mindfulness encourages you to focus on the present moment, reducing worry about the future or ruminating on the past. Meditation helps to calm the mind and reduce anxiety. Start with a 5 to 10-minute daily mindfulness practice. Look for apps like Headspace, Calm, or Insight Timer for guided meditations. Techniques like body scanning (noticing how each part of your body feels) or focusing on your breath can help break the cycle of anxious thoughts.

• Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)
PMR reduces tension in your body, which often accompanies stress and anxiety. Start by tensing and then slowly relaxing different muscle groups in your body, starting with your feet and working your way up to your head. This practice helps you become more aware of physical tension and can induce a state of deep relaxation.

• Cognitive Behavioural Techniques (CBT)
CBT helps you identify and challenge negative thought patterns that contribute to anxiety. When you notice yourself feeling anxious, try to identify the specific thoughts that are causing stress. Ask yourself whether these thoughts are realistic, and replace negative assumptions with more balanced, fact-based thinking. For example, if you think, “I’ll never be able to handle this,” challenge it with, “I’ve dealt with tough situations before and made it through.”

• Seek professional help
If anxiety and stress become overwhelming or persistent, seeking help from a mental health professional (such as a therapist or counsellor) can provide you with tools to manage your feelings more effectively. A professional can help tailor coping strategies to your specific situation and challenges.

Not all coping strategies will work the same for everyone, so it’s essential to experiment with different approaches and find what suits you best. Over time, building a toolkit of strategies – ranging from relaxation techniques to problem-solving methods – can help you manage anxiety and stress more effectively, giving you a sense of control and resilience when challenges arise.

Dr Ravi Gill is a Chartered Health Psychologist and Practitioner Psychologist. For more info, visit www.smartmindhealth.co.uk or follow her on Instagram: @dr.ravi_gill

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